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Here & Now

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I haven't been here for awhile. Well, I've been here, but not really here

Maybe it's obvious. I dunno. There sure has been a lot of excitement and things to be happy about. And truly, I really am very happy. 

But our little family has had a lot on our plate. Of course, there's all the hustle and bustle and sleep-deprived bliss of a new baby, but there's also health concerns we've been facing. I shared a little bit about little Luke last month...and never really checked back in. 

Let me start off by saying, I am keenly aware that other families deal with difficulties far greater than any challenge presented to us. But nonetheless, as a mum, anything amiss with my boys pulls at my heart. 

And that's just it, both of our boys have health concerns right now.  I'd like to spare the details, but in short, Baby Luke has a swallowing disorder as well as a few other issues that go along with that and our Little Man Jack is experiencing spells that appear like absence-type seizures. 

 More than I ever thought I could handle...but you know, I've learned a lot about myself, motherhood, and our little family.  I've realized that when the going gets tough, I love stronger and work harder. I circle the wagons, keep things inside, draft a plan, hunker down, and set forth to heal and grow. 

Notice that not everything on that list is a good thing. I tend withdraw from friends and life in effort to just take care of things. I've begun waking up at 4 am again...because there is that drive to work/do/fix/plan/improve. But, I'm grateful to realize it all. 

And I am so incredibly grateful for this wonderfully beautiful community. Through everything, I've still needed (and want) to continue growing my business - it's a vital aspect of our family. Creating additional income and opportunities.  In many ways this thriving creative community has kept me sane...and kept me company during sleepless hours. 

And now, it seems like the fog has lifted a bit and I am back here


Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this, Allisa! For one, I'm happy for the update and to see your handsome boys.

But I also think this is helpful for others to hear and read - I know I have a very similar set of things going on right now, so it's a nice reminder that I'm not the only one :) My little guy has some health problems as well, but similarly to what you expressed I feel very fortunate that they aren't severe.

Seizures are very scary - I had a student once who I think had absence-type seizures, but was undiagnosed. It definitely made some things harder for him, but I think if he had been properly diagnosed and received the right supports he would have been fine.

Also, I cope similarly :) If you ever want to chat more, let me know!

Joy said...

Huge hugs!

Yes, I agree with Zoe... thanks for sharing with us. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one going crazy with all that's going on in my life!

Baby Seth had some health issues a few months back... it is so hard to keep things together when the kiddos are sick (I hate that helpless feeling)... his health issues have slowly gotten better.

Your boys are beyond handsome! I'm here too if you need to talk (more hugs).

Donna said...

What cutie pies! I will keep them in my prayers for healing, and you in my prayers for easing your mommy-worrying burdens.

Dotty said...

I'm sorry things are difficult for you- it is such a worry when our children have health issues. You sound like a very strong lady and I hope you can get support from your friends too as we all need someone to sure us up sometimes. You really do have a beautiful little family. x

laura said...

Thanks for sharing. I am sorry about the health problems with your little ones. I hope that relief comes soon. There is nothing worse than the helpless feeling you feel when your little ones are hurting.

Keeping up with everything seems like a spinning out of control merry go round at times. You don't want to get off, but if you stay on you might loose your cookies.

sending love.

Heather A said...

Of course you've been worried ... well, probably scared to death ... and you have every right to be. I truly hope everything turns out to be okay and I'll be anxious to know.

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.