Here & Now

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I haven't been here for awhile. Well, I've been here, but not really here

Maybe it's obvious. I dunno. There sure has been a lot of excitement and things to be happy about. And truly, I really am very happy. 

But our little family has had a lot on our plate. Of course, there's all the hustle and bustle and sleep-deprived bliss of a new baby, but there's also health concerns we've been facing. I shared a little bit about little Luke last month...and never really checked back in. 

Let me start off by saying, I am keenly aware that other families deal with difficulties far greater than any challenge presented to us. But nonetheless, as a mum, anything amiss with my boys pulls at my heart. 

And that's just it, both of our boys have health concerns right now.  I'd like to spare the details, but in short, Baby Luke has a swallowing disorder as well as a few other issues that go along with that and our Little Man Jack is experiencing spells that appear like absence-type seizures. 

 More than I ever thought I could handle...but you know, I've learned a lot about myself, motherhood, and our little family.  I've realized that when the going gets tough, I love stronger and work harder. I circle the wagons, keep things inside, draft a plan, hunker down, and set forth to heal and grow. 

Notice that not everything on that list is a good thing. I tend withdraw from friends and life in effort to just take care of things. I've begun waking up at 4 am again...because there is that drive to work/do/fix/plan/improve. But, I'm grateful to realize it all. 

And I am so incredibly grateful for this wonderfully beautiful community. Through everything, I've still needed (and want) to continue growing my business - it's a vital aspect of our family. Creating additional income and opportunities.  In many ways this thriving creative community has kept me sane...and kept me company during sleepless hours. 

And now, it seems like the fog has lifted a bit and I am back here