Choosing Happy

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

image credit paper coterie


So, I took a bit of a break there. Time away from posting and from most other things online...

To be honest, this week has been difficult for me. I've been in a bit of rut - the rainy greys of spring in Portland really weigh on me at times. I also have a lot of anxiety about the transitions in our house - my baby moving out of his crib and our oldest entering kindergarten next year (!) Then there's the general thoughts & dreams of where I've been and where I'm headed...

Throw it all together & the result is a bit of melancholy and chaos. 

Actually, I've battled with anxiety and depression my whole life. I'm really good at putting on a smile and forging ahead while also carrying around loads of pain. In middle school my English teacher wrote on my report card that he could always count on my sunny smile. I remember thinking, 'Boy, I've sure got him fooled!'  But faking it only works for so long and chocolate and coffee lose their magic eventually.

So times like now, when I'm faced with uncertainty and change, the depression and anxiety rise up again. But you know, after a bit of hiding away, praying, and prioritizing I find myself at the same point where I realize it's basically up to me to choose happiness. And goodness knows it's not as simple as just making your mind up to be happy, but it's about choosing the path of happiness, taking little steps in that direction. 

So when I found this lovely little download over the weekend it was like a cheerful little reminder that I can come out from cover, face the grey, and put on a real smile. 

Thank you lovely readers for giving me a space to share all this! 

{related reading: looking back to Ashley Pahl's guest post outlining her Rut-Busting Guide when you're feeling stuck}